Which Of The Following Expressions Is Correct

Okay, people, let's settle this once and for all. We're diving headfirst into the grammatical abyss. Prepare yourselves. We're asking the big question: Which of the following expressions is actually correct?

The Contenders

We have a few usual suspects. These phrases are uttered daily. But are they grammatically sound? Or are we all just collectively making things up as we go along? Highly possible.

First up: "Supposably." Sounds legit, right?

Then there's the classic, "I could care less." Ugh. The bane of my existence.

And how about, "irregardless?" A triple negative wrapped in a wordy package. Joy.

Finally, we have the ever-popular, "literally" used to mean "figuratively." Because why not destroy the English language completely?

The "Supposably" Situation

Let's start with "supposably." It sounds like it should be a word. It really does. But it isn't. The correct word is "supposedly." I know, I know, it's less fun to say. "Supposably" has a certain... zest. But alas, zest doesn't always equal correctness.

I'll admit, I've been tempted to use "supposably." It just rolls off the tongue! But deep down, I know I'm committing a linguistic crime. And I try (mostly) to be a law-abiding citizen of the grammar world.

"I Could Care Less": A Personal Vendetta

Now, onto my nemesis: "I could care less." This phrase implies that you do care, at least a little bit. The correct phrase, people, is "I couldn't care less." As in, you've reached the absolute bottom of the caring barrel. There is no caring left to give. You're at zero. Zip. Nada.

I have a theory about this one. I think people say "I could care less" because they're trying to be sarcastic. But sarcasm doesn't translate well in text, and it often gets lost in verbal communication. So, we end up with a phrase that means the opposite of what we intend. It's a grammatical tragedy!

Unpopular opinion alert: I sometimes think people say "I could care less" just to annoy grammar sticklers like me. And if that's the case, well played. You've succeeded. My blood pressure has officially risen.

The "Irregardless" Offense

"Irregardless." Oh, "irregardless." You're like a grammatical onion. You have layers. Layers of wrongness. The "ir-" and the "-less" are redundant. It's like saying "un-not happy." Just say "regardless." It's shorter. It's simpler. It's grammatically correct. Everybody wins!

I picture "irregardless" as a confused little word that doesn't know where it belongs. It's trying so hard to be a real word, but it's just... not. Bless its heart.

"Literally" Gone Wild

And finally, we arrive at the "literally" debacle. People use "literally" to mean "figuratively" all the time now. "I literally died laughing!" No, you didn't. You're still here, reading this article. You figuratively died. There's a difference!

I understand the appeal. "Literally" adds emphasis. It's like saying "really, really" but with more syllables. But it also makes my brain hurt a little bit. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. Maybe I'm clinging to a dying definition. But I refuse to give up! "Literally" should mean "literally"! It's not too much to ask, is it?

The Verdict (and My Unpopular Opinion)

So, which expression is correct? Drumroll please...

None of them! (Except "supposedly" and "I couldn't care less").

But here's my unpopular opinion: Sometimes, grammatical correctness isn't the most important thing. Sometimes, communication is more important. If everyone understands what you mean, even if your grammar is slightly off, is it really that bad?

As Shakespeare (probably didn't) say, "The purpose of language is to convey meaning, not to impress grammarians."

Okay, I made that up. But you get the idea.

So, go forth and use language however you want. Just be aware of the rules, and break them consciously, not accidentally. And maybe, just maybe, avoid "irregardless" at all costs. Please?