What Happens If Fia Doesnt Die

Ever wondered what would happen if Fia, the Deathbed Companion in the Lands Between, just… didn't die? It's a thought that can send even the most seasoned Tarnished down a rabbit hole of "what ifs."

The Cozy Undead Nanny

First off, imagine the shift in atmosphere at the Roundtable Hold. No more somber goodbyes or cryptic warnings. Instead, we'd have Fia acting as the Hold's resident, albeit undead, nanny.

She'd be knitting tiny shrouds for the Finger Maidens' dolls, whispering bedtime stories that involved dragons and demigods, and generally making things...cozy. Picture Gideon Ofnir trying to maintain his air of scholarly menace while Fia offers him a warm cup of chamomile tea.

The absurdity alone is enough to make you chuckle.

A Very Awkward Reunion

Let's not forget about Godwyn the Golden. The poor guy's soul is already having a bad time. Now imagine he eventually gets…re-embodied, or whatever complicated thing the game lore throws at us.

He’d likely stumble upon Fia, still hanging around. "Uh, hi?" Imagine the most awkward reunion imaginable. It's like running into your ex's new partner… except your ex is a rotting corpse and your new partner is, well, also a rotting corpse.

The Tarnished's New Roommate

Maybe she decides to move into the Tarnished's room at the Roundtable. Suddenly, your solitary journey is interrupted by… snoring. Not just any snoring, but the ghostly, reverberating snores of someone who hasn't technically been alive for ages.

Forget strategically planning your next boss fight. Now you're just trying to get a decent night's sleep while sharing a room with a Deathbed Companion who apparently has very vivid dreams about… well, death.

"Deathblight? More Like Death-DELIGHT!"

Instead of spreading Deathblight, maybe Fia decides to rebrand it. Perhaps it becomes "Death-Delight," a new artisanal jam she creates using only the finest… well, probably questionable ingredients.

She starts selling it to merchants, claiming it has "unique rejuvenating properties." Poor Patches accidentally buys a jar, eats the whole thing, and then spends the next three days convinced he can talk to crows.

The Death-Themed Craft Fair

Okay, hear me out: Fia opens a stall at a local Lands Between craft fair. She's selling hand-stitched shrouds, miniature effigies of dead demigods, and those "Death-Delight" jams.

Ranni the Witch might even stop by, intrigued by the…unique aesthetic. She probably leaves with a bag full of shrouds for her dolls.

Iji, being the loyal protector, stands awkwardly nearby, muttering about the importance of proper weaving techniques while trying not to look at the "Death-Delight" jam.

From Deathbed Companion to… Matchmaker?

Perhaps Fia, having embraced a life of (un)living, decides to become a matchmaker. Her unique perspective on life and death could make her surprisingly insightful.

She starts setting up lonely NPCs on dates, offering surprisingly astute advice on how to navigate the tricky world of romance in the Lands Between. Imagine her trying to set up Blaidd with someone… maybe a friendly dog?

The New Boss Fight: Pillow Fight!

If you still insist on fighting her, the battle takes a drastically different turn. Instead of deadly spells and spectral hugs, Fia challenges you to a pillow fight.

The arena is transformed into a giant, fluffy battlefield, complete with feather storms and strategically placed springy mattresses. The ultimate attack? A perfectly executed "Deathbed Tickle Attack," guaranteed to incapacitate even the most hardened warrior with laughter.

The Legacy of the Undying Nanny

In the end, if Fia never dies, the Lands Between becomes a slightly more… eccentric place. Fear of death is replaced by a kind of morbid curiosity, and everyone learns to appreciate the absurdity of existence just a little bit more.

Maybe the next generation of Tarnished will grow up hearing stories of the "Undying Nanny," the spectral woman who knit shrouds, spread "Death-Delight," and made the Lands Between a slightly cozier, albeit still dangerous, place. It's a world where death isn't necessarily the end, just a…different beginning.

It's all speculation, of course. But the thought of Fia just sticking around, becoming a permanent fixture in the lives of the Tarnished, adds a whole new layer of whimsical chaos to an already wonderfully bizarre game. Who knew the Land Between could be so funny?

And maybe, just maybe, that's the real Elden Ring we were searching for all along.

What if Fia is the key to true happiness in the Lands Between, just misunderstood?