Stars And Stripes On The River Zanesville Ohio

Okay, let's talk Zanesville. And flags. Specifically, Stars and Stripes, but not just any Stars and Stripes. The ones you see rippling (or sometimes, sadly, drooping) along the Moxahala Avenue bridge over the Muskingum River.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Patriotic! Beautiful! A true symbol of American pride!" And yeah, I get it. The red, white, and blue. It stirs something inside. Makes you wanna sing the Star-Spangled Banner (even if you only know half the words).

But here's my potentially unpopular opinion: Sometimes, there are...a lot of them. Like, a lot a lot.

Don't get me wrong. I love my country. I pledge allegiance and everything. But when I'm driving over that bridge, sometimes I feel like I'm entering a flag gauntlet. It's like the Fourth of July exploded and decided to permanently reside over the Muskingum River Parkway.

It's festive, sure. But is it...necessary? Are we compensating for something? Are we trying to break a world record for "Most Flags Per Square Foot of Riverfront"? Because if so, Zanesville, you might just win.

And look, I know some people will say I'm being unpatriotic. That I'm disrespecting the flag. To those people, I say: Relax! I'm just saying, maybe dial it back a notch? Perhaps replace a few flags with, I don't know, some lovely flower baskets? Or maybe a giant inflatable Muskie?

Okay, maybe not the inflatable Muskie. But you get my point.

The real kicker? Sometimes, the flags are looking a little...sad. Faded. Torn. Like they've seen better days. And honestly, a tattered flag flapping in the breeze doesn't exactly scream "America the Beautiful." It screams "Needs a Trip to Goodwill."

It's like putting up a Christmas tree in July. The initial joy is quickly replaced by a slightly awkward, "Shouldn't we take that down?" feeling.

And then there's the sheer number. You're trying to admire the Y Bridge (because let's be honest, that's the real star of the show in Zanesville), and BAM! Flag overload. It's visual competition, and the Y Bridge is losing.

I'm just saying, maybe a little flag moderation would do us all some good. A few strategically placed flags? Absolutely! A patriotic statement? Sure! A borderline overwhelming flag extravaganza that makes you wonder if you accidentally drove into a political rally? Less so.

Think of it this way: it's like putting too much sugar in your coffee. A little bit sweetens the deal. A whole lot? Suddenly you're bouncing off the walls and regretting your life choices.

Maybe I'm alone in this. Maybe everyone else in Zanesville is perfectly happy with the flagapalooza. But I suspect, deep down, some of you are nodding along. You're thinking, "Yeah, you know what? She's got a point."

And that's okay! We can still love our country and think that maybe, just maybe, we could find a more subtle way to show it. A way that doesn't involve squinting through a sea of red, white, and blue every time we cross the river.

So, next time you're driving over that bridge, take a good look. Count the flags. See if you can still spot the Y Bridge. And then ask yourself: Is this patriotic...or just plain extra?

Because honestly, I'm leaning towards the latter. But hey, that's just my opinion. And in America, we're all entitled to one. Even if it's about the excessive number of Stars and Stripes in Zanesville, Ohio.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find a good therapist. I think I might have flag-induced PTSD.

Just kidding! (Mostly).