How To Put On A Nipple Shield Piercing

Alright, gather 'round, folks! Let's talk about something a little… nippy. We're diving headfirst (or, you know, breast-first) into the world of nipple shield piercings. Now, I'm not a professional piercer – think of me as that slightly-too-enthusiastic friend who’s seen a YouTube tutorial and is suddenly an expert. So, take everything I say with a grain of… well, sea salt. (Don't put salt on your piercing. That's a terrible idea.)

First things first, a HUGE DISCLAIMER: I am not a piercer. This is for informational and comedic purposes only. If you’re seriously considering a nipple shield piercing, go to a professional. They have the pointy things and sterile everything. I have… a cat that sheds a lot. Not ideal for sterile piercing environments.

What IS a Nipple Shield Piercing Anyway?

Okay, so what is a nipple shield piercing? It's basically a barbell that goes through your nipple, and then you have a decorative shield that sits on the outside. Think of it as a sparkly little bodyguard for your, uh… let's just say “personal assets.” It's bolder than a regular nipple piercing because it adds a layer of dramatic flair. Think of it as adding a spoiler to your regular nipple piercing... that might be a bad analogy, though, since some cars look better without spoilers and others definitely, definitely do not. Your piercing professional can give you advice about suitable jewelry.

So, You Want To Put One On… Already Pierced, Of Course!

Now, let's assume you've already gone through the whole shebang – found a reputable piercer (seriously, don't skimp on this step), gotten pierced, and healed beautifully. (If not, go back to the piercer! They're there to help!) This article is for already existing piercings.

Putting on a nipple shield piercing, after you've healed, is kinda like putting on a bra, but with smaller parts and a higher risk of dropping something on the floor and having to wash it off while your pets watch in utter confusion. Let's break it down:

Step 1: Wash Those Hands! Seriously. Wash them like you're about to perform surgery... on a particularly small and sensitive part of your body. Hygiene is key. You don’t want to introduce any unwanted bacteria into your lovely healed piercing. I once sneezed on a donut, then ate it. Let’s just say I learned my lesson. Don’t be like me.

Step 2: Gather Your Supplies. You’ll need:

• Your shiny new nipple shield. Make sure it's the right size! Nothing's worse than trying to cram a square peg into a round hole… or, you know, a too-small shield onto your piercing.
• The barbell that goes with it. Make sure the threading is compatible! Trust me, you don't want to cross-thread that thing. It's like trying to screw a lightbulb into the wrong socket. Sparks might fly, but not in a good way.
• (Optional) A small mirror. For optimal viewing.

Step 3: Unscrew the Barbell. Carefully unscrew one of the balls from the barbell currently in your piercing. Don't drop it! Those things are like tiny ninjas – they disappear into the void the second they hit the floor. I swear, there's a black hole under my couch specifically for lost piercing jewelry. The universe is a mysterious place.

Step 4: Thread the Barbell. Insert one end of the barbell through the existing piercing. Breathe. You've got this. Channel your inner zen master. Imagine you're threading a needle… a very small, very important needle. Okay, maybe not that important. It's jewelry. But still… important-ish.

Step 5: Attach the Shield. This is where things get a little… fiddly. Most shields attach with tiny screws or clasps. Carefully align the shield with the barbell and attach it according to the manufacturer's instructions. I recommend doing this in good lighting – and maybe with a magnifying glass if your eyesight is anything like mine. I once tried to thread a needle in the dark using only my cat as a light source. It did not go well.

Step 6: Screw the Ball Back On. Once the shield is securely attached, screw the ball back onto the other end of the barbell. Don't overtighten it! You don't want to cut off circulation to your… well, you know. Just snug is good. Think of it like tightening a jar lid – firm, but not Hulk-smash-it-into-oblivion tight.

Step 7: Admire Your Work! Stand back and admire your sparkly new addition. Take a selfie. Post it on Instagram. Show off your nipple shield to the world! You earned it!

Troubleshooting Tips

Can't get the barbell through? Try using a taper! A taper is a slightly larger, pointy tool that helps guide the jewelry through the piercing. Your piercer can sell you one! Or, maybe just breathe and take a break for a minute. Trying to force it will only make things worse.

Shield keeps falling off? Make sure you’re tightening the screws properly! If they're still loose, you might need to replace them. And for goodness sake, check the threading.

Still having trouble? Seriously, go back to your piercer! They are the experts, and they can help you troubleshoot any issues you're having. Plus, they probably have better lighting and magnifying glasses than you do.

So there you have it! A (hopefully) humorous and informative guide to putting on a nipple shield piercing. Remember, safety first, sparkle second! Now go forth and bedazzle your… well, you know.