How To Do A European Deer Mount

Okay, let's talk about European deer mounts. You know, the skull thing. Some people call them “Euro mounts.” Whatever. Let’s just dive right in. I'm going to tell you how I do it. Spoiler alert: there might be some shortcuts.

Boiling is Your Friend (Maybe)

First, you gotta get the head. Obviously. Then, and this is the fun part, you gotta boil it. Big pot. Lots of water. Stinky? Oh yeah. Crack a window or three.

Some people say simmering is better. Keeps the skull from cracking, they say. Honestly? I’ve cracked skulls simmering. I've cracked skulls thinking about simmering. Crank up the heat and get it over with. Just saying.

Now, here’s the unpopular opinion. I don’t pick everything off while boiling. I get the big chunks. Eyes, brains (yuck!), tongue. The real nasty bits. But some meat? Eh. I leave it. Sue me.

Pressure Washing: A Game Changer

Forget dental picks. Forget tiny brushes. Pressure washer, baby! This is where the magic happens. It blasts all the remaining gunk right off. Bam! Clean skull (sort of).

Watch your eyes! And maybe don't do it on your brand new patio. Trust me on that one. Aim carefully and work in sections. You'll be amazed.

Too much pressure? Yeah, you can damage the bone. Just ease up a bit. Find the sweet spot. You’ll know it when you see it. And maybe wear some ear protection. It gets loud.

The Degreasing Debacle

Here comes the part everyone dreads: degreasing. Apparently, deer skulls are super greasy. Who knew? This is where all the yellow discoloration comes from if you skip it.

Dawn dish soap. Water. Soak for days. Change the water. Repeat. Ugh. This is why some people quit. Don't be a quitter! Or... maybe be a quitter? Honestly, sometimes I skip this step too.

Yeah, I said it. I’ve done Euro mounts without serious degreasing. They’re still holding up. Are they perfectly pristine white? Nope. Do I care? Also nope. Maybe I should care? Unlikely.

Hydrogen Peroxide: The Whitening Wonder

Okay, fine. If you degrease (or even if you don’t!), you gotta whiten it. Hydrogen peroxide is your friend. The higher the volume, the better. But be careful! It can burn.

I usually buy the stuff from the beauty supply store. You know, the stuff they use to bleach hair. Works great! Slather it on. Let it sit. Repeat.

Don't use bleach! Please. Just don't. It weakens the bone. I know, I know, it's tempting. But resist! Your skull will thank you (eventually).

Assembly and Display

Sometimes, the skull comes apart during the boiling/pressure washing extravaganza. Don’t panic! Super glue is your friend. And maybe some epoxy if you’re feeling fancy.

You can buy fancy mounting kits. Or you can just screw it to a piece of wood. I've done both. Guess which one I do more often? Yep, the wood.

Finding the right spot to hang it is crucial. Over the fireplace? In the bathroom? The possibilities are endless! Just don't put it in the kitchen. That's just weird.

A Few "Pro" Tips (Sort Of)

Antlers looking dull? Some people use furniture polish. Seriously. I haven't tried it, but I've heard it works. Proceed with caution.

Want to add some flair? Paint it! Glitter! Bedazzle it! It's your skull. Do what you want. Just don't blame me if it looks terrible.

Finally, remember: this is supposed to be fun! If you're not enjoying yourself, you're doing it wrong. Crack open a beer. Put on some music. And get skulling!

And honestly? If it ends up looking a little…rustic…that’s okay. It adds character. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Just promise me one thing. Don't take it too seriously. It's just a deer head. And if you mess it up? Well, there are always more deer.

So go forth and Euro mount your heart out! Or don't. It's your call.