Breathe Me In Breathe Me Out

Breathe Me In, Breathe Me Out: An Unpopular Opinion

Let's talk breathing. We all do it. Constantly. Without even thinking. But, here's a confession: I find all the hype around mindful breathing... a little much.

I know, I know. Deep breaths calm you down. They center you. They connect you to your inner guru. Everyone's saying it. Every wellness influencer. Every yoga instructor chanting about pranayama.

But sometimes, taking a "deep breath" just makes me feel more anxious. Like, suddenly I'm aware of how constricted my lungs feel. Or I start counting and lose track. Then I'm just stressed and dizzy.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying breathing is bad. Obviously. It's kind of essential. I'm just saying... maybe we're overthinking it? Maybe our ancestors weren't sitting around counting inhales and exhales. They were probably busy chasing mammoths or something. And they seemed pretty okay.

This whole "breathe me in, breathe me out" philosophy? It's everywhere. Meditation apps. Guided visualizations. Even that one friend who keeps telling you to "just breathe" when you're ranting about your boss. It's well-intentioned, sure.

But sometimes, "just breathing" isn't enough. Sometimes, you need to scream into a pillow. Or eat an entire tub of ice cream. Or binge-watch bad reality TV. Whatever floats your boat, really.

And honestly, isn't the whole point of relaxing to not think about breathing? Shouldn't it be automatic? Like blinking? You don't consciously blink, do you? (Okay, maybe you are now that I mentioned it. Sorry.)

I read this article once about how babies breathe. Apparently, they breathe deeply and fully into their bellies. And then as we get older, we start breathing more shallowly into our chests. The article was all about how we need to "relearn" how to breathe like babies. But you know what else babies do? They cry all the time. And poop their pants. Maybe we don't need to copy everything they do.

I’m not advocating for holding your breath until you turn blue, obviously. I’m just saying... maybe we give our lungs a little too much credit. They're just doing their job. Let them do it in peace.

And what about the exhaling part? "Breathe me out," as the saying goes. Letting go of negativity. Releasing tension. All good stuff in theory. But in practice, sometimes I just feel like I'm exhaling all my energy along with the bad stuff.

Like when you're trying to solve a problem, and someone tells you to "take a deep breath and let it go." But what if the problem requires you to hold on to it? To wrestle with it? To refuse to let it go until you find a solution?

Maybe sometimes, we need to hold on. To cling. To fight. To breathe in all the frustration, the anger, the determination. And then use it as fuel.

I’m not saying Eckhart Tolle is wrong. Or that mindful meditation is a scam. I'm just saying... maybe it's not for everyone. Maybe some of us prefer to breathe unconsciously. Or maybe we just need a little bit of chocolate cake along with our deep breaths.

It's like that saying: "Everything in moderation, including moderation." Maybe we need to apply that to breathing. A little bit of conscious breathing? Sure. But not so much that you start hyperventilating.

So next time someone tells you to "just breathe," maybe smile politely and nod. Then go do whatever actually helps you relax. Whether it's watching cat videos, listening to heavy metal, or arguing with strangers on the internet.

And hey, if all else fails, you can always try holding your breath... Just kidding! (Please don't do that.)

Maybe, just maybe, the key to a happy life isn't about perfecting our breathing technique. Maybe it's about accepting that we're all just flawed, imperfect humans who occasionally forget to breathe properly. And that's okay.

And remember what Alan Watts said, "Trying to manage things, trying to force things to conform to a preconceived pattern, is like trying to hold water in your hands. You get all tensed up and yet it runs through your fingers."

So go ahead. Breathe in. Breathe out. Or don't. It's your breath. Do whatever you want with it. Just don't suffocate.